good night

I had stopped writing.

Creatively, that is.

It’s become increasingly apparent that this new world of nyc, life, work, figuring out where I am, who I am with, and who I am becoming has over turned my writing. I used to write. I used to love it, think freely, and let my fingers run across the keyboard like ants running to peanut butter blops on the street. For some reason, during the cold months of transition and bitterness of February and the pains of the colddarkdreary months, I froze. I wasn’t myself. Maybe it’s that some goals that were put on hold or maybe it’s just….life. Whatever it was, it was gone.

For some reason, at midnight on a Monday night in May, I wanted to write.

Ok, maybe it’s norah jones singing, or the fact that I’m obsessed with eat, pray, love, or maybe it’s that the sun shines bright in the morning and promises of warmth on my windowsill for the next 120 days. It doesn’t matter. I’m writing. I’ve found my zen.

A little bit like Stella and her groove. I’m starting to get my zen back.

Part of my zen, I’ve realized, is time with myself. In this human sardine can of a city that I can’t get enough of, I’ve realized, that sometimes I’ve had enough. That sometimes I need to lock myself in my room, listen to jazz, drink tea, and that THAT is my zen. And there is nothing else that I need at that moment.

Part of my new zen groove is to write. About grace. About gratitiude. Everyday, for the next 30 days. I need to reflect, I need to breathe, I need to think. I think this exercise will help me do that.

So, my gratitude post today is for- my fingers. These flanges that hang off my arms. Have you ever thought about them? They do so much each day. Today they are letting me write, letting me think freely, and letting me put down what is up in my head on paper. Our fingers are really the connector between what is going on our minds and what is accomplished on paper. They are the vessel that translate our thoughts into written word.

So, thanks, fingers, for giving my groove back.

Tomorrow, something new.

good night.

-csb